I’m content. I’m not happy about things (I’m starting to notice how nitpicky I’ve been lately), but I feel truly blessed and content to be where I am right now. All bills are paid. I have food in my house. I’ve coffee for tonight’s online festivities. The place is a bit of a mess, but…
Category: Seth’s Journal
Oh Look, AdmoPK!
Wow, I’m finally getting this place started! I had a few false starts, but I think I’m ready to give this place a go. I originally made a personal journal that I was actively sharing, but I stopped announcing the updates since the subject matter got darker and more personal. My aim with this site…
Cognitive Dissonance and Reassessing Neutral Cues (Waxing Poetic about PTSD stuff)
Another thing we’ve been talking about in therapy is cognitive dissonance and information processing. Sometimes, and I still have absolutely no explanation for this, I will wake up and get my shower, get dressed to shoes, get the bed ready and bathroom cleaned up, and go get coffee in my (absolutely deserved) RADICAL SELF-CARE mug, and…
Two Days of Checking In On Myself
So I have this questionnaire type thing. It’s a 13 question “self check-in” that I look at on the hour and make sure I’m doing okay. Its purpose is to help me recognize my own needs and actually address them as I go through the day. Stuff like “am I hydrated? Am I feeling okay?…
Purrhaps the Solution was There All Along
This month was shit. For future reference, any of the four of you who read this blog, don’t talk to me about someone ignoring or not wanting to talk to me — just don’t. It’s a trauma trigger. I do not have the proper tools to mitigate it. I’m sure I lost a day or…
I’m Having A Beer (Scandalous, I Know)
I’m resting and watching Katt stream while I take a break from looking at the outline of my memoir. I’m also having a beer. SCANDALOUS, I know, but it’s amazing how, if you’re not buried under so much bullshit from people who don’t want you to exist, you don’t want to self medicate. On Thursday,…
New Chapter
I am here. I am in my new apartment. I have an amazing job that I love (and am currently preparing to build a tumblr around, as fresh food is what I work around, and I love cooking). I am writing daily. I am confident and exhausted, but confident. I’m making plans for November. Nothing fancy. It…
Finis, Perhaps?
I feel like tomorrow is going to mark the end of an incredible chapter of my life, a chapter that will undoubtedly fill the pages of a book I am already planning. I’ve so many lessons learned, so many insights gained, and an entirely new understanding of myself. Of all the things I’ve acquired since…
It’s October 1st!
Had a good day — anxiety was high, and so was my hypervigilance. But I was actually able to focus on work and not mess with my phone as much, though I did “speak before thinking,” but once. Corrected with mild embarrassment, but the nice thing about being halfway around the world is people were…
Tired
Made it to the end of the month with a post a day. 🎉. Had some super good high notes, but finishing on a pretty low one. I’m still honoring offers I’ve made and have had made to me. Just know I’m in my feels about several areas, and am anticipating another. I keep thinking maybe…