So…I think I’ve been on it for two weeks, now. I documented here or somewhere when I started it. But I forget how absolutely sandblasted you get when you first start taking it. Like…I’m too tired to have an actual manic episode. I’m too tired to have any feelings, really. I’m just tired. It’ll be like this for another couple of weeks, if I remember correctly. Then it levels off and you have a better grip on your emotions and moods. I know it helps your brain with GABA production, which I have always avoided GABA as a supplement for this specific reason (it hard crashes me like early-load Depakote does). It will level off eventually…it’s just a pain in the ass for if I want to do anything that requires extra exertion.
Which means I have time to write! Here’s a list of things I’m working on, because I have the mental space to actually write about that while completing things on the list. I’m too tired to exert myself, but not too tired to sit at my desk and write (which, after writing that specific statement, I went to bed and crashed for another four hours…totalling 12 hours worth of sleep on and off today).
- I put a “coming soon” page over my blog over at admowrites, and I am planning on doing a post in every category before opening it back up. And I have some doozies, too.
- Finish the scene for the game I’m writing for. I’ve been trying to make clarity for this since I got the assignment, and while there’s plenty of time yet to finish, I’ve been going through it, and haven’t been able to find the focus. I have made a playlist that reflects the era, though, which is important, because you can’t write medieval/high fantasy with EDM in the background. Okay, maybe you can, but I can’t. I need tavern music.
- Edit a couple of Chapter 1s of some WIPs I’ve outlined. Speaking of WIPs, here they are:
-The Reclaimers! Which is a group of five friends just starting university who start a business finding other people’s lost stuff, people, lore, stories, etc. If it’s lost, they’ll find it.
– Hopekiller, about a goaltender on a collegiate development level hockey team who is destined for the pros, or at least a scholarship.
– 19 Steps, about a genealogist in a fictional coastal town in England (or maybe Scotland) who uncovers a lot of drama and a murder from one misplaced picture.
– Charged – about a 20something who is struck by lightning, and instead of killing him, it gives him insane powers.
– Symbiosis – three friends go on a boating trip and end up uncovering an alien invasion plot
– Lessons Learned – a buddhist practitioner has odd coincidences between his every morning studies and events the same day.
– Bad Feelings – a series of stories about people whose bad feelings become literal and transform reality. - Oh…my memoir, which I’ve titled “It All Makes Sense, Now” — it was going to be only about my time in the homeless shelter, but I’ve acquired a sort of darker humor in the past year or so, and I’m writing about all the times I wore red flags like red and blue police lights, and nobody even noticed or acted like they noticed. So…I’m writing about those moments and how they still show up in my adulthood. I’m starting to realize there’s a reason folks like David Sedaris don’t have just a memoir, they have books upon books of essays and reflections and introspections, and so this is probably going to be the first of many for me. This one will be first, since there was a conversation with someone who was actively present during a few abuse moments, and literally had no idea that certain things were considered abuse. “Well I know they wouldn’t let you eat dinner, sometimes, but that’s just punishment, right?” Pfft.
- Memoir aside, I don’t want my admo blog to be about my recovery or being your best self — I really want to use it to talk about writing, all things writing related, and maybe writing about writing with a side of writing and some writing for dessert. You know…writing. I mean, there’s potential for writing about serious subjects, because writing about it is still writing. But…this is my personal space. The main part of this blog is being one’s best self. This is my public vent box — the place where I choose to shamelessly scream into the void.
Oh, something I did get done that required physical effort was two rounds of the 100 item challenge — I’m one of those who can have a pristine clean apartment, and in a matter of days, I’ll have a pile of crap the size of a 1984 Ford Pinto in my living room. And a lot of it is me pulling stuff out of the junk dresser (yes, I have a whole dresser for junk, not just a drawer) and then leaving out to make the decision to toss or keep later…which then attracts more and more of the same. So I emptied my plastic storage container, put 100 items in it, and sorted it. I managed to only keep 3 items! The rest was “I might need these cords that I’ve had for five years and either don’t work anymore because they are broken, or the device they were specifically made to charge are broken and long gone.” I did a second round, and this time it was mostly garbo — not actual trash, but stuff that I literally don’t need to be keeping. Old batteries, broken headphones, a shredded boom from a microphone, earbuds that never worked right, dried out wet wipes, so on and so forth.
Anyway, I gotta go nurse my tiredness by getting more sleep. Holy hells this is sending me (straight back to bed, but it’s still sending me).