When I first left the toxic environment I was in back in August, I didn’t have a purpose for myself, other than to simply get out. I had a plan of sorts in my head: move into a shelter, rest, get into support groups, get a job (preferably full time and with benefits), and eventually be able to afford my own place without much assistance, if any. Beyond that, I was a piece of wet clay waiting for the world to shape me as it saw fit, which, for those of you who have been keeping up, was not the best mindset, considering I’d been in a situation where I was essentially forced to fit into another person’s mold, and they didn’t like anything about my self image, nor what I brought to the world.
When the world decided that it would have its way with me, initiating events like the shelter putting unexpected burdens on me that others didn’t have to worry about, as well as refusing to call me by my chosen name (they used my legal first name, which I’ve never used), I had to get a place faster than I expected. Not only that, but I had to learn how to self-advocate on the fly. This required the necessity of at least a semi-developed sense of self. Considering what I fled from, I barely knew who I was. I had the setting and the plot for second chapter of my life; however, I did not know who the main character was, because I didn’t know myself away from the influence of the world.
Enter Kirsty Gillmore into chat, specifically as a guest on the second episode of It Takes a Village, hosted by Samantha Béart. Known for her work on games like Baldur’s Gate 3, Valorant, and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II, the voice and performance director was excited to spend some time with the Village community, talking about everything from her career to giving some advice about creating authentic characters and guiding the actors into the role of said character. The episode was a boon for all of the questions I had about my one real-life struggle with trying to figure out who I was — or where I could start being more in touch with myself.
Here are some highlights, as well as how I translated the chat to my own personal leadership toolkit:
- Create a Safe Space – One of the things Kristy talked about was how directors need to establish an environment where actors can be vulnerable and explore their characters without fear of judgement. Actors need the space and freedom to get to know their characters, if they are to portray them authentically.
This made sense to me, as in moving from a place of complete isolation and fear to one that was full of so many unknown people, I wasn’t sure where my “safe place” was, even with a lock on my door. Unpacking my car and making the place feel like a home was the first step, and so effective that I decided I would stay there as long as I was allowed to (it was a singles’ area of the shelter that charged rent).
Doing this also removed a significant amount of stress, as I was less worried about the place when I was away at work out for a walk. Returning home felt like a cozy retreat for a time, rather than a place that I wanted to hide. It was in this environment where I first began to allow myself to feel vulnerable to my feelings about everything I’d gone through over the course of the past decade. - Setting Session Goals – Having clear goals for each session helps directors and actors both stay focused. Gillmore noted everything from line counts to character development as notable objectives for maximizing use of time in each session.
This seems like a no brainer, as goal-setting is almost necessary for a well-organized life. For me, it was simple in big blocks, turning my big wants into goals. “I want to get a decent job and my own apartment” became “Goal 1: Get a decent job and Goal 2: Get my own apartment,” for example. Having them written several areas helped me to stay focused and keep moving in their direction. I made a point to make smaller goals within each one, such as ‘save 1k for deposit’ and ‘apply at places in x part of town.’ (fast forward to present, and I’m still seeking meaningful work, though I do have my own place and am able to pay the bills). - Communication is King – In addition to creating safe spaces, having clear communication with everyone involved in a character’s creation will establish a more collaborative environment and make sure that actors feel comfortable and empowered to explore their roles, which will lead to more authentic performances.
Deciding to speak up more often about my own goals, needs, fears, worries, et cetera, with my new acquaintances sparked more open conversations about their own shared emotions. It allowed me to feel less ostracized or isolated in my situation. We also discussed how we overcame our own obstacles. We were able to work together to be more open with and supportive of one another, which strengthened our entire community. Clear and open communication was the foundation for success in virtually every part of my life while I was in the shelter, and it still is. - Keep the Writers Involved – It goes without saying that the writers must be a part of the recording sessions in order to maintain the integrity of the character. This also ensures that the acting weaves into the character’s story arcs.
In my case, I didn’t really have anyone close to me who I trusted enough to give me life advice, especially in my situation. I lamented to some online friends, some I’d known for years, who had similar stories from their past, some of them. They helped me design a framework for staying sane during the transition. One even had a similar situation with their relatives, and shared tips on how not to fall back into the pit by worrying so much about the hole you left with them that you decide to return to check in. Doing something like this, I was warned, would put me right back in the place I was, and the punishment for my “escape” would be much worse than what it was before. Listening to this person who’s already written the story that I was about to live provided a trove of insight and comfort, as I learned my situation was not unique and that the silver lining was tangible.
All that in mind, it’s no wonder I drew so much from this episode.
Gillmore shared so much more, including wonderful stories about her job and how she started gaming as well as thoughts on the industry. She also talks about people who advocated for her, and gave wise advice about what you can do as a director that also translates quite seamlessly into daily life, regardless what one does. Her empathy for actors and understanding of the craft that is acting, whether voice or performance, resonates throughout the conversation, which can be viewed on YouTube:
It Takes A Village: Episode 02 – Kirsty Gillmore
Samantha Béart can be found at:
Twitter/X
Bluesky/bsky
YouTube
Kirsty Gillmore can be found at:
Twitter/X
Bluesky/bsky
YouTube
website