Missing a day of blogging is actually a good thing! The whole point of PHP for reintegration is to actually reintegrate back into life without having the shadow of trauma and such dysregulating you so bad that you cannot function. And with IPSRT, learning to find my rhythms and manage when they don’t click, being proactive about life and its unpredictable nature, and just having full productive days with enough time to rest, relax, and take care of myself — that’s kind of the goal. If you’re so tuned into actually doing those things that you can’t stop and talk about it, that’s great!
Happy and healthy are contingent on what I do, as well. Am I content? Not as much as I’d like to be, but that’s because I always see places where I could have potentially done more or better or pushed a little harder and got just a little bit more out of myself. But I am very pleased with my progress anyway. I think the idea alone that I can see where I can improve without that room for improvement turning into an overwhelming burden or sense of failure is huge in itself. And when that does begin to happen, There’s CBT and DBT skills to assist.
The IOP schedule (formerly PHP) is shrinking even more to the point that it’s not even IOP anymore, but it’s still going to be three days a week. Which means I’m not finished — I am refining.
I know back in December, I really felt like I was too far gone, too old, too conditioned, too traumatized, too messed up to find comfort again, and yet here I am comfortable. Not perfect, but I don’t have to be. Not even aiming for it. Just aiming to do a little better and push a little harder than the day before. Keep care of me, share positive with the world, and don’t take myself so damned seriously.
I’m taking a few days off from posting, as work is going to be mad this weekend with the big game going on. That and I’m also working on a couple of writing projects that require my full attention, and also have some tweaking I need to do with the blog and its pages/menu/etc. I appreciate all the views and love and reads, seeing the readers (or hits/views, not readers specifically) gave me motivation to keep working toward having positive things to write about, until I could motivate myself.
Anyway, I will return in a few days, and hopefully I’ll have this space a bit more organized by then.
