When I first left the toxic environment I was in back in August, I didn’t have a purpose for myself, other than to simply get out. I had a plan of sorts in my head: move into a shelter, rest, get into support groups, get a job (preferably full time and with benefits), and eventually…
Author: Seth
Symbiosis: Chapter One
Beneath an Alien Storm Mason Silva stood at the edge of the wooden docks, the sun setting on the ocean’s horizon in a vivid blaze of orange and pink. His thoughts were accompanied by a gentle lapping of the waves against the hull of the boats ahead. He took a deep breath, drawing in the…
2025: Starting The Year With a Fizzle
It’s the first Saturday of the year 2025, and quite a bit has happened! I’ve set some unwritten resolutions as well as some that I wrote about in an earlier post. So far, all systems are operating smoothly. I’ve missed my morning routine so far, have written 50k words in various projects, have a couple…
Christmas Eve
I’m content. I’m not happy about things (I’m starting to notice how nitpicky I’ve been lately), but I feel truly blessed and content to be where I am right now. All bills are paid. I have food in my house. I’ve coffee for tonight’s online festivities. The place is a bit of a mess, but…
Oh Look, AdmoPK!
Wow, I’m finally getting this place started! I had a few false starts, but I think I’m ready to give this place a go. I originally made a personal journal that I was actively sharing, but I stopped announcing the updates since the subject matter got darker and more personal. My aim with this site…
Cognitive Dissonance and Reassessing Neutral Cues (Waxing Poetic about PTSD stuff)
Another thing we’ve been talking about in therapy is cognitive dissonance and information processing. Sometimes, and I still have absolutely no explanation for this, I will wake up and get my shower, get dressed to shoes, get the bed ready and bathroom cleaned up, and go get coffee in my (absolutely deserved) RADICAL SELF-CARE mug, and…
Two Days of Checking In On Myself
So I have this questionnaire type thing. It’s a 13 question “self check-in” that I look at on the hour and make sure I’m doing okay. Its purpose is to help me recognize my own needs and actually address them as I go through the day. Stuff like “am I hydrated? Am I feeling okay?…
Purrhaps the Solution was There All Along
This month was shit. For future reference, any of the four of you who read this blog, don’t talk to me about someone ignoring or not wanting to talk to me — just don’t. It’s a trauma trigger. I do not have the proper tools to mitigate it. I’m sure I lost a day or…
I’m Having A Beer (Scandalous, I Know)
I’m resting and watching Katt stream while I take a break from looking at the outline of my memoir. I’m also having a beer. SCANDALOUS, I know, but it’s amazing how, if you’re not buried under so much bullshit from people who don’t want you to exist, you don’t want to self medicate. On Thursday,…
New Chapter
I am here. I am in my new apartment. I have an amazing job that I love (and am currently preparing to build a tumblr around, as fresh food is what I work around, and I love cooking). I am writing daily. I am confident and exhausted, but confident. I’m making plans for November. Nothing fancy. It…