I feel like tomorrow is going to mark the end of an incredible chapter of my life, a chapter that will undoubtedly fill the pages of a book I am already planning. I’ve so many lessons learned, so many insights gained, and an entirely new understanding of myself. Of all the things I’ve acquired since…
Author: Seth
It’s October 1st!
Had a good day — anxiety was high, and so was my hypervigilance. But I was actually able to focus on work and not mess with my phone as much, though I did “speak before thinking,” but once. Corrected with mild embarrassment, but the nice thing about being halfway around the world is people were…
Tired
Made it to the end of the month with a post a day. 🎉. Had some super good high notes, but finishing on a pretty low one. I’m still honoring offers I’ve made and have had made to me. Just know I’m in my feels about several areas, and am anticipating another. I keep thinking maybe…
Better
Since I had such a volatile evening, I wanted to check in. I slept but I need to get back to it. I woke up hungry after 5 hours, so I prepped some lox on sourdough and a cup of coffee. I’m calm again. I want to know what triggered such nasty words from myself….
Anxious…ugh
Apparently the storm has passed, and now I’m feeling the tailwind of anxiety that comes after. I did what I know works: I wrote it out. I told people. I broke out my long list of things to do instead of just sit in my feelings. And they still ran amok. But it passed (I…
Being Hard on Myself, Today
I was tidying up in my place while thinking about where/how I’d start if I wrote part of my life experience into a game format. I have some ideas, and was kind of tying it together in my head as I prepared to make the bed. In a matter of seconds, I had my face…
Greetings from Bed!
It’s 12:38am, and I’m getting ready to get some shut-eye. I did go to the market and replenish my food supplies – packaged meats like smoked salmon, flavored tuna (sesame ginger and tomato basil are my favorites), and plain chicken breasts. Along with that, a loaf of sourdough bread, more high-protein oatmeal, and a variety…
Dreaming…or am I?
I missed another meeting. Work’s kicking my ass. I’m working six days straight, and a lot of the work times make it too late for me to get to one, so my meetings are in limbo until can get better timing. I tried to be supportive and offer ideas to someone today. It hit me…
Observing Myself
tl;dr: woke up depressed, socializing seems to be getting better, Discord woes, grocery shopping tomorrow along with group therapy, and mobile gaming notes. So I woke up fully depressed, this morning. My right leg was numb, which doesn’t happen very often (maybe twice a year), but when it does, I have to basically wake it…
Death and Depth of Emotions
It is grief. I didn’t think about it until the fifth one, but this week alone, there were five new acquaintances of mine who died of overdoses. All were separate events, and I didn’t think about how that alone could put me in a morning funk (or all day, for that matter). I didn’t know them that…