I’m content. I’m not happy about things (I’m starting to notice how nitpicky I’ve been lately), but I feel truly blessed and content to be where I am right now. All bills are paid. I have food in my house. I’ve coffee for tonight’s online festivities. The place is a bit of a mess, but again…nitpicky. It gives me something to do. My cat’s chilling on her chair, and I in mine. I have jazz from Japan going in the background, and am getting ready to jump into Guild Wars 2 and just rest and hang out with online friends for some in game festivities.
I’m making a point to tell everyone that I love them, today. I grew up in an environment where nobody really ever said it except for my mom. But my new friends and acquaintances say it often, so I’m saying it to everyone — you never know who needs to hear it.
Holy crap I have so many new friends and acquaintances. It’s a stark contrast to last year. My close friends still number less than ten, but that’s how I like it. I’m actually going to see a movie with one of them tomorrow.
I am feeling a bit of distress that I can’t call certain people and tell them Merry Christmas. I know if I did, it could open a huge can of worms after leaving how I did — plus the potential of having history repeat itself again. I left for a reason. But it doesn’t change that I miss them/the people I wished would love me back. I can pray for them, though, and I will, just as I’ve been doing.
I’m blessed and content. All things considered, I couldn’t ask for much more than what I have, right now. In this moment, everything is okay.