I missed another meeting. Work’s kicking my ass. I’m working six days straight, and a lot of the work times make it too late for me to get to one, so my meetings are in limbo until can get better timing.
I tried to be supportive and offer ideas to someone today. It hit me later that what I said might have come across as an insult. I was mortified. I tried to correct it, but I probably just made it worse. I just…I know what the person is capable of, and it pisses me off that they’re experiencing what they’re experiencing, but I also feel helpless because I can’t do anything about it. And I want to help. Actually, for once, I almost feel like I might be able to, but it’d take a lot of work.
I mean, I’ve got a whole life story waiting for someone to help me write it, and you bet that last dollar in your billfold that I’d have Sam in one of the main roles before they could express interest. I’ve been through so much shit in my life, it’d be an honor and a pleasure to finally write it out – and I’ve got an idea for a fictionalized version for a game – it could be used as a teaching device in a very specific area. As articulate, intelligent, and empathetic as they are, it be an honor above honors to have them help write it, not just have a lead/major role. It was their inspiration, after all, that led me to make huge life changes for myself, and these short months later, I’m finally content and able to reflect on everything with an open mind and heart from the comfort of my own private studio apartment. They’re automatically welcome to be involved without question.
I just wish I knew how to ask. I’m still broke, and I’ve got no clout. No matter how positively affected I’ve been, I’m still just a nobody who works at a gas station.
You know what…yolo. Yo, if you read this and are interested…I opened my DMs on the birdsite. 🛝? Please go easy on me if you do, I’m intimidated at first in private chats. I warm up quickly, after I know I’m safe.