I’ve been thinking about what I can write in between all of my 75 Hard updates. It’s not the only thing that I do, but it’s what’s been at the top of my list, and it’s a great way to share my day which is usually the boring kind of “I woke up at noon, made coffee and eggs, and wrote for two hours…before focusing on 75 Hard…”
I didn’t know what to write about that would be different or even helpful. I can’t talk about my personal projects, as I’ve a self-imposed NDA on both of them. I can’t talk about the game I’m writing for because…well…guess. But I can write about something I’ve recently experienced that might be helpful to other folks with similar traits.
All Mystical and Shit
I have a tarot deck, and I’m a huge fan of astrology. They’re both like The Law of Attraction: I don’t necessarily believe in it, but it happens to me all the time. I don’t believe in the cards or zodiac, either, but damned if they’re not eerily accurate. I do love accuracy and precision like that, even when it can come across so vague that you can infer the meaning with ease.
For example, I’m a Leo sun. People who know me know that I’m bold. Full of fire and passion, generous and loving, and it takes a hell of a lot to bring me down. I light up rooms when I walk in, and people love to be around me.
I’m also a Virgo moon with a mach 5 processor in my head: intelligent and quick, extremely (nauseously) analytical, and my social battery runs out quick since I am taking so much in all at once. I’ve called it introversion, but after taking the time to learn a little about myself, I’m realizing that it’s the fact that I can’t turn this part of me off that makes me tire of socializing quickly (that is, unless I am comfortable around you or want to be).
I’m quite adept at throwing humor into just about any situation (even funerals – yes, they are appropriate and not tasteless), and seem to be quite resourceful with finding the right things to say in any situation. This would be due to my rising Gemini. I’m also on target with my intuition, which I’ve just knocked my Leo sun out of shadow, and now it works again.
What’s Shadow Work, Master?
Speaking of which, I’ve felt compelled to write about Leo in shadow, for both solar and lunar lions. Be careful if you have a Leo in your big two: whether sunny or lunar, if it falls in shadow, you’ll be seeking external validation right and left. Coupled with a Virgo in either of the three, and you will be working your ass off to get what you feel like you need, even beyond your breaking point.
So how do we handle our Leos when they take the steering wheel in the shade?
As I stated, having Leo in shadow sucks. There is a constant battle for external validation, constant oscillation between pride and self-doubt, a fear of being invisible or even rejected, but the way they come to light are different, depending on if you’re a sun or moon.
Leo Sun in Shadow
- you feel disconnected from your purpose – you might find yourself being too bold, too confident, overcompensating for that fear of rejection.
- you start chasing validation at the cost of authenticity – building yourself after what gets attention or gains clout rather than what you really care about.
- you might find yourself switching between exerting more dominance than necessary and feeling a complete loss of confidence, leading to retreat.
Leo Moon in Shadow
- you feel unloved or unappreciated – leading to swings from dramatic emotional reactions to complete withdrawal.
- you begin to tie your self-worth to how you are received, triggering the constant need for validation or a total repression of them (or both)
- you push too hard for emotional connection, leading to burnout, weariness, and self-neglect.
How to Tame a Shady Lion
When you’re dealing with these issues, now is a great time to find the right treats to coax your Leo back out of the shadow. The truth is, it doesn’t actually take that much; that is, if you can put up with hearing yourself whine about it for a little while.
For SOLAR LEOS
- Stop performing and remember what you like. I recall when my Leo was in shadow, I actually wrote about how I felt like I had to outperform others for attention and recognition. Instead of doing that, I began to look at what made me feel happy when I was alone (get your heads out of the gutter), and I built from there.
Being that my moon is in Virgo, I found a lot of my alone time was spent making lists: what is really my favorite music? What sportsball teams do I really like to watch? What games that I have available to me do I really enjoy playing? Eventually, I found myself on an entirely different plane of existence, hitting the gym every day, walking every day, having more cups of coffee, writing more…and I stopped seeking that external validation. - Stop competing and start living your truth – when boldness becomes an act of self-defense, it can become a competition real quick. Bravado is unnecessary when you are living your life because you enjoy it — the best people will come to you, you’re a Leo, after all — you don’t need to fight for attention.
In my case, I started falling back into personal development. I’m a solo artist at heart, and I’d rather spend time being my best self than showing myself off for clout or attention. When I get my old physique back, I might share a pic every now and then (I owe someone a thirst trap in a tighter shirt, once I get there), but it wouldn’t be for relevance or validation. I validate myself because I took ownership of myself again. - Stop taking up so much space and start taking up your own space. If you’re spending more time than normal trying to stay in someone’s field of view, then you’re burning yourself out because you’re not focusing on number one. Reign it in, Hot Sauce, you ain’t nobody if you don’t flaunt yourself where you’re stand – home alone or out in public.
For Lunar Leos
Where solar Leos are all about that radiant flame, providing warmth to anyone and everyone they are around, Leo moons emit a more refined fire. Their warmth is internal, defining their emotional core rather than radiating outward to others. Suns are the bonfire, moons, are the embers.
- Stop trading your value for reactions. Just don’t. Reactions are fleeting. It takes .2 seconds to tap the like button, and the feeling of validation from it fades just as fast. Your worth has nothing to do with how people respond to you. Your emotions are valid, even when they go unacknowledged.
If you have a Leo sun friend, ask them for advice. (I jest, but if I were your friend, I’d tell you to take up your space and flaunt yourself the way you see fit, because at the end of the day, you are number one — ain’t nobody going to sleep with you but you, even if you have a significant other who goes to sleep with you, and nobody looks at yourself in the mirror with your eyes but you.) - Stop exhausting yourself trying to feel other people’s warmth. Instead of burning out from seeking those deep connections, remember your internal radiator is just as warm as you need it to be.
Leo friend here: Slow down. Don’t rush. Let things ride. Maintain your own vibe, and again, keep your own space as you see fit. The connections you seek will come to you — if you have it in your moon, then you’re already equipped to attract them — and you will, even if it’s not the people or entities you want it from. - Stop regressing and withdrawing. It’s all in the little things for this one. Where I need to go throw plates around at the gym while listening to the loudest djent music I can find to get my moxie back, your moon would get the same effect from finding a moment of joy, creative expression, or less intense connections.
Me again. Remember that one cup of coffee you had that just made your entire morning less crappy? Or the quiet trip to the sandwich shop with a friend after the lunch rush was over? Or the time you dressed up like The Bowler from Mystery Men for Halloween? Easy wins, low pressure socializing, and creative expression. All are winning formulas for you. - Stop competing. Guess what? Just like my sun in shadow, your moon in shadow is guilty of this, too. I compete for attention, you compete for validation. But that’s the thing, we’re Leos – we don’t have to do this. We are natural magnets, whether we want to be or not. Our Ace of Spades is our inner self-assuredness. External attention and validation are not the source of our worth or ego — it’s a byproduct of it.
Guess who? Trust your space. You aren’t renting it from others, you own it — so own it! If you’re not waking up in the morning thinking about how you are going to be your best self for the day, then start it back up again. Other people are not your ticket to internal value. You are your ticket to internal value. Even if you have to act for a living – including actors.
I have a job as a writer, for example, but I am not my writing (or wait…shit, bad analogy) – I have a job as a lawn care specialist. I act in that role. I do not perform my duties for ego stroking, I make my yards look awesome because I love to see awesome yards and I know how to do it and love to do it. See what I did? I internalized my worth rather than sourcing it to my boss or the people that own the yard. And you know what? Actors get probably 10% of the roles they audition for — those that I know (including a very prolific voice actor) have all said they make their job fun because they love doing the auditions. The roles they get are a byproduct of them having fun with the auditions. Don’t compete. Trust your space. Enjoy yourself.
The Takeaway
Regardless if sun or moon, Leos thrive when their ego or value is self-driven, and authentic. When Leos chase external sources for these two things, it’s a sign that Leo has fallen into shadow. Coax the shady lion out of your shadow by simply trusting your space and making space for your truth. Once you do this, you’ll be unshakeable, properly anchored, and enduring.
Sweet talk yourself out of the shadows and bring it back home, Leos. You got this.