This is why I love blogging: you can change thought patterns and planned order, even get sidetracked, and not get too mucked up over it, because it’s a blog. Anyway…
Yesterday was MSCT (yay!) and we talked about the past week, which, went really well aside from feeling really bummed for awhile over a couple of incidents. Despite that, I was able to maintain the course and complete goals without much issue. As a matter of fact, my therapist was thrilled when I told her I looked on Instagram for creative ways to get myself to fight the shower monster, and found one that really works for me (check it out, you won’t be sorry…actually, check his whole Instagram out, it’s *chef’s kiss*).
Ever since I found that post, I’ve been doing my own version of it, and I love it. I told her that I really like the aesthetics vibe, and I want all of me to end up on that same level, inside and out. She corrected me to say “I am doing what is necessary to get myself on that same level,” because based on what I’ve been doing and changing, that is more accurate. I even told her about trolling myself on my blog with the shower thing, and she said “you didn’t troll anyone, you were straight up sharing knowledge.” She suggested that, overall, this is a sign that we’re doing the right things with MSCT, and lauded how positive my reaction to it has been so far. I agree. We’ve still got a long way to go, but I’ll take the compliment.
We made a new aspect of myself, this time using my self-critical thoughts, and his existence is to allow myself to determine whether I’d listen to those criticisms if they came from an external source. Unlike the compassionate aspect, this one was a lot easier to bring to existence. I’d wonder what that says about me, but I’ve got a whole blog about it, not to mention personal life experience. When my self-criticisms happen, I can listen to them, but also listen to my compassionate self, and determine which one I want to entertain more, thus making my reaction a conscious choice. Gosh, this is starting to sound like CBT… 🤔
We talked about meditation, and how I’ve had an aversion to it, lately — and I told her about a book I picked up called “You are the Placebo” by Dr. Joe Dispenza, and I’ve enjoyed it so much that I’m actually meditating again with relative ease (I have a whole series about it coming up for the blog, actually), and for longer than 15 minutes at a time. Part of it is because of what the book discussed and how making a scientific analysis of it has made it easier. More importantly, it’s because I’m getting more comfortable in my own mind again.
Tonight is my group meeting (yay!), and tomorrow, I should pick back up on my little series on inspiration.