I took the day off from everyone but my neighbor from down the way, today, which backfired in the most radical stealth-care way: it turned into me getting a pocket notebook full of names and phone numbers, private AA and NA study groups, and similar stuff. We ended up going to not one but three 12 step meetings. She let me know several times today that there’s nothing saying you can’t go to NA and AA both. More people = more of a foundation = more chances to find clean and sober people to hang out with…more access to cool logo swag, meetings and study groups, more invitations to parties and barbecues and bake sales, more access to the cooler non-cult churches…she went on and on and on and on. But I got the picture. If you’re like me and you look for your people where the sobriety’s at, you’re going to find an entire army’s worth of support. And one thing my town has is an incredible recovery network.
She got me a shirt at one of the meetings — it says “Raw Doggin’ Life” on it lol.
After that, we went browsing rugs, and I decided to check out their toiletries and grooming supplies, and got a three pack of exfoliating gloves (body wash gloves — you know what I mean) for less than two dollars. We then stopped at a local soda shop on the way home. I lucked out and got a free iced coffee since I’d never had one from there. The lady said I asked all the right questions so she just wanted me to have one on the house and see if I liked it.
I didn’t see a rug that really stuck out to me (I have an idea of what I want in my head, so it’ll be hard to beat what my vision is), but the inspiration of buying one motivated me to finally get rid of the chairs that have been in my house taking up all that space in the living room.
Removing those gave me the next-step ideas for the rest of the stuff I have and don’t want: remove the dining table and chairs, and also the mattress, and move my L-shaped desk back to where the dining table was, put the microwave on one side and set my PC up on the other. I really do not like using that microwave, it makes me so danged nervous. Plus…I really just don’t like it. Everyone’s like “oh you have to have a microwave” for what? I reheat my leftovers on the stove and unpack the microwave popcorn and cook that over the stove, too. I just don’t use it. So it might be a casualty in my flat reclamation project, too.
So after doing a lot of research on making my house a complex trauma and bipolar friendly environment, I’m basically transforming rooms into spaces: living area and kitchenette (one big room) is my open area. I want it to be warm, open, and spacious. I want it to be soft and functional. So mom’s chair, bookshelf, the TV stand the eventual rug…all of that will be how someone is welcomed when they walk in. I want the rug to have a thick enough pile to be comfortable to sit on, and am also considering two or three beanbags as well — would be perfect for vegging out on the floor while watching television or playing with the Switch without feeling like I’m claustrophobic from all of the clutter. The recliner is still there for people who don’t want to get in the floor — also I don’t have a lot of visitors (I’ve had one since I moved in), so the option is still there.
I’ve mentioned before that clutter is a massive anxiety inducer, and can even be the initiator of that feeling of things piling up. So we take it seriously and remove anything that can cause or build clutter. Just moving those chairs today brought a massive feeling of relief and space.
My bedroom is my personal peace zone. Bed of course, book shelf with good reads and puzzle books, a TV tray for my laptop if I need to shrink myself into a smaller space for some reason (which may not be a thing once I make the living area less toxic). I’ve already put in warmer, dimmer lights where those bright blue fluorescent type bulbs were, and the bedroom in general just feels a lot more cozy and embracing. Not harsh at all. Was actually a big difference when I had all of them changed (there were three that needed to be swapped, and I can use the others in the open room). I think in here, my only need now is a darkening cover of some sort for the window (maybe that tinted plastic stuff that you can remove later if you want) and a backrest pillow.
I don’t really have to do anything to the bathroom, I’ve been successful at keeping it the way I need it to be. Simple, practical, and exactly what I need in there and nothing more.
(See? Space! And there’s still much to be done, but this is a splendid start, if I don’t say so myself. Also, I’m quite surprised I don’t have a picture of the place with the chairs still in the pic…they took up all of that space, save for a small 3 foot wide spot from the recliner, a perfect square for the door to open without touching them. So I felt very closed in, and I’m normally not claustrophobic at all)
Anyway, it is getting late (9:30), and I’m learning I actually start getting tired between 10 and 11, so I am going to call it very very soon. Apparently we’re getting snow on Friday, so I gotta make a run to the store for stuff to make chili with before then. I got time. <3
