I decided that I need a full 24 hour vacation from the internet and all things work/school related. So I’m stacking self-care sunday’s activities to Saturday. Zoom was zoom, and now I’m home eating Louisana Voodoo fries from Wingstop and making a to-do list for the house. I do need to get a new book, as I’ve read everything I own, and also a couple of card packs for either MTG or Pokemon (or both!). Then I plan on just relaxing and gaming all afternoon after that list is fulfilled, and tomorrow…I may not get online.
Last night, I made a cup of chamomile tea and was planning on getting into GW2 for the evening, and I came across not one but five different posts, blatantly sharing some extremely explicit portions of the documents that shall not be named. These are from folks I added as mutuals because we had a few things in common, and I thought that these folks wouldn’t share that kind of stuff. Plus, networking on socials can lead to great connections, both professionally and colloquially. But every now and then, I come across folks that share for the shock value and clout they receive for doing so. All the of the posters (one posted 3x) were immediately blocked, and I had to sit still for about an hour before being able to move.
That kind of thing really triggers me. Like…it’s not something on the front of my mind 24/7, but what I went through when I was a child isn’t something I want to be randomly and unexpectedly reminded of in that vivid of detail via social media. So I had to really blank my brain out.
I made a distraction framework out of the following:
- MTG cards for items and situations
- The world map from the game I am writing for
- My own characters +one from said game
- Scandinavian power metal for background music (which eventually shifted to tavern metal)
- Chocolate-filled pretzels as a crunchy snack
- Water because even chocolate-filled pretzels are dry
So I wrote a couple of scenarios and actually got so immersed that I felt funny when I came to a good stopping point — the kind of funny that I felt the same way after playing Dragon Age Inquisition or Mass Effect 3 co-op for hours at a time, especially after super tough fights. Just that…instant catharsis feeling.
Then I decided fuck it, go to bed, I know it’s 10pm, but I need to go ahead and just sleep because that was bullshit what happened, and I was very much triggered. So I took my “killswitch” meds and woke up feeling a little distorted, but I slept great. Another situation handled well, perhaps? I don’t know, I have to give myself a couple of days to make damned sure that I don’t crash over it and blackout, but so far…so far so good. I’m prepared either way.
On that note, I need to go to do some self-care retail therapy and pick up a couple of nice things for myself like I planned on doing Sunday (tomorrow), but want to make tomorrow a quiet day so I can enjoy spending time with what ever I get myself, even if it’s just some cards and a book…a big clunky book.
