So it turns out it was my windshield wipers that did the damage. I’ve never in the history of owning a car (I’ve owned 10 cars in my life) had this happen. But apparently the ice was so hard that the windshield wipers caught it and scraped the pieces across my windshield, and the only reason I didn’t notice was because the sleet and ice were so heavy when I used them. For four days, my car just sat there. Nobody touched it. The good news is it’s not going to cost anything to fix aside from the $25 for the stuff to repair it with because the repair place wants practice doing it. They are excellent with other car-related stuff like hail damage and dents, so I’m excited to play guinea pig, since they’ll replace the windshield or repair any damage they cause.
The older guy who refused medical attention is okay. There’s a rumor or two floating around about the details, but not my business. I do hope he’s okay and can stay that way.
One of my relatives who I ran into on Facebook made tamales, menudo, cherry cake, and a pie for me, and they’re bringing it by today while they’re out running errands. Can’t wait to see them and give them a huge hug. It’s been a very long time I saw them last, it feels like at least a decade, maybe really is a decade since I saw them. I had no idea she was back in town, so I’m stoked. I would go get it from them directly, but my hip is still jacked up, and there’s now an incredibly large bruise back there to go with it, so I’m wondering if i bumped into something and then slept on it. But I am so left-handed that I bump into everything and don’t remember.
I am also both excited and sad that this is the last day of a week full of PHP via Zoom. We have our Saturday stuff tomorrow, but that’s a normal Zoom day. I just know that doing it from home is super convenient, but also has a lot more distractions. it’s really easy to check bsky or insta and get lost in scrolling while trying to listen to the instructor or advocate give class and skills stuff. Luckily, today is now what I’m dubbing Fun and Games Friday — we’re doing TTRPG on the hour, breaking for lunch, and then finishing with the pet stress relievers that I wrote about yesterday. I actually chose my puzzle books. My stress relief is to do things that require thinking, not shutting down the thought process. I do a lot better if I have a deliberate thing to focus on instead of something to chill to, if that makes sense. My chill would be house cleaning with lofi music. Or doing puzzles that require your brain to work…with lofi music. You know, something that takes effort. I can’t really relax like a normal person. I’m either 100% all in on something or sleeping. So yeah. Give me something to focus my energy on or let me take a nap. Those are my pet stress relievers.
I know we left off at the imps – that feeling of cognitive dissonance when you know you answered something truthfully and with clarity and conviction because you know you are correct, but when you’re raised (or live) in an environment where you’re taught to second-guess yourself or being gaslit all the time, it just gnaws at you that you might be wrong.
Today’s RP is about a treasure chest we found after we went down into the next level — and there’s pouches inside with our names on it. WOAH. Is this a friendly mimic? Are we taking candy from a stranger here? No…each pouch has some hot merch – mine had a blazing red necklace with a gorgeous fire-orange amulet, some assorted jewels, coins (edible chocolate ones we get to keep, haha), and a note. This belongs to (one of) our abuser(s). This explains why we were asked about naming (to ourselves) a specific person from our pasts. Sensitivity and all that, but all of us were okay with it yesterday.
We have options: To keep it for ourselves, which would continue the connection, as the amulet has a binding hex on it. Go through the portal that opened when we opened the chest and return it to them and also confront them, or leave the stuff alone and walk away.
I’ve done all three, historically. I’ve ghosted most of my abusers. I’ve also confronted others, then walked away. I’ve confronted and kept the very distant connection active, because for me, family is scarce. I’ve also kept a couple around despite it being potentially harmful. With the one I had in mind, I just left the stuff there. They lost it here, they can come and get it. Not my problem anymore.
The point was that all three of these options are legitimate. It’s not a one-size-fits-all solution to how to handle your connection to those who hurt you. But just as you grow away from it, they do as well, and some actively try to be better people after the fact. Does that mean they deserve to be in your life still? Not at all, but that’s up to you. You can let them go, confront them, or keep the memories…which still have a sort of attachment quality to them.
Time to talk about pet stress relievers! Anyway, good class, today. We go back to in person classes on Monday.
