I actually think that making myself stay up was detrimental — and I understand, now, why it’s so important to follow the SRM metrics of going to bed at my scheduled midnight time. I mentioned how tired, brain-foggy, grumpy, etc that I was in the last post, but I also very lightly mentioned that I redacted a bunch of negative self-talk.
Remember post 006? It was that bad. Not that long, but that bad. But after I wrote it, I published it, then stopped, breathed, and redacted it. I don’t want to talk to myself like that, and I only do that when I am in a low mood and energy level. Meaning when I have my druthers about me, I’m not really seeing myself in the way that I was writing. So what caused an hour of intense pain and again those feelings of isolation was, in my opinion, the fact that I stayed up just a few hours later than I should have. Even for science (haha). But it really was an eye opener that simple shifts in a sleep schedule can do that.
So I basically practiced DBT and staged it down from 1-adjacent to 3 and am still in stage 3. Kinda proud of myself in that department.
My goals for this week:
- follow my SRM as close to perfectly as I can (not aiming for perfection but accurate completion)
- Make sure to phone a friend if I start to cave in on myself (the goal is not to cave in on myself, but to phone a friend if I do, just in case there’s a question lol)
- Make a point to go to the gym for activity every day
- Walk at least mile every day — aim to do it outside if weather permits
- Finish at least three modules in the MSC book
- Do at least one 5k walk (replacing the daily mile when I do it)
- Work 30 hours this week.
- Make sure every post for this week has a picture or two, even if only a screenshot of a game I’m playing.
- Consider upgrading my alt GW2 account to have some expansions (because I really need a mount)
- Be social for at least an hour a day — not including group meetings and therapy stuff. Yes, online and socials count.
So it’s not a lot of major changes, just the gym and trying to be actively social, really.
Anyway, I do need to work. Going to try for a six hour shift, then starting my shiny new SRM sheets tomorrow. (Which I did one today but meh. — that should be another goal, only one meh a week)
